Spring Time

Spring is in full force in North Carolina. The dogwood blooms came out this week and the daffodils are already saying their goodbyes. We're supposed to have temperatures in the 80s all through this Easter three-day (at least for me) weekend.

Jake learned the sign for "outside" a few weeks ago, and he signs it almost as soon as he gets up. He loves, loves, loves being outside. He plays with his basketball goal, goes down his slide, chases the dog, and just likes to wander through the yard, picking up leaves, acorns, rocks, and anything else that looks interesting.

We started a signing class last weekend for parents and babies/toddlers. The teacher comes to our house and a few other families come over with their kids. Jake liked it and paid attention fairly well for an almost 2-year old in an hour long class. The class was recommended by Jake's speech therapist, Tracy, who advised that we continue to teach him new signs as we work on his speech. Tracy now comes once per week and we have seen some real progress. Jake is far more vocal than he has been in the past and he now has at least three true words (mama, dada, and baba for ball).

Even though he has had some progress with speech in the last few weeks, Jeff and I are coming to terms with the fact that it seems that Jake might have a condition called verbal apraxia. The easiest way to explain it is that for kids with apraxia their minds have trouble telling their mouths how to form words. Jake is too young to diagnose, but he seems to have some classic symptoms - receptive language is far ahead of expressive language, he can say a word several times and then not be able to say it again (for days or even months), and when you watch him try to speak it is as though you can see the wheels turning and he is trying very hard, but he just can't get it out.

Of course, this isn't news that any parent wants to hear and when the speech therapist first suggested it (we've been operating from the thought that he just has a "preemie speech delay") it felt like a kick in the gut. In fact, it still feels like a kick in the gut. But after doing some research, it feels like we can't really deny that apraxia is a definite possibility.

One of the main websites we've been going to is www.apraxia-kids.org. The first time there I was reading through their Family Guide and came across a page on Feelings, Emotions, and Coping. I almost laughed out loud when I read the following line:

"Your picture of your child’s perfect life has been shattered."

Any dream I had of a "perfect" life for Jake was shattered almost two years ago lying in a hospital bed. We knew that life, especially the beginning, was going to be very, very hard on Jake. At that time, I wondered why something so many women do without really thinking about it (carrying a baby to term) couldn't be reality for us. And now I can't help but find myself wondering now why something that nearly everyone takes for granted (speaking) can't come easy for my child. Jeff is an eternal optimist and reminds me that we have been incredibly lucky and that we have a wonderful little boy. And he's right. But sometimes you can't help but wish you were a little luckier...

Here's a video and a few pictures of Jake from back in February when we still needed hats and gloves. Thanks to Andrea for knitting him the adorable bear hat, and thanks to Jenny for coming to visit!

Three generations of Walker men